The wax of writing
or how to create power in your words
Think of a loved book (or movie/show). Imagine the characters. The setting. A single scene.
Got it?
Now think of your favorite line, or something powerful that was said or written. Can you think of more than one? Does your whole body vibe with the mood of it? Do you feel emotionally charged?
That’s the wax, my friend.
Ok. Let me back up.
Is that a bit confusing? Probably. You’re most likely thinking about a candle and are wide-eyed reading this like, Samantha, what in the hell are you talking about? And that’s fair. We need to start on the same page, so no more waxing and waning. Here’s the definition of wax (when you’re not talking about the product):
wax2
/ (wæks) /
verb(intr)
to become larger, more powerful, etc
(https://www.dictionary.com/browse/wax)
Does it make a little more sense now? I’m referring to those one-liners or moments in a manuscript (or script) where the scene has been building and then the words come out at their most powerful. Often these will be highlighted by your critique partners, or betas, and generally, agreed upon. They’re undeniable in their ability to hold space. Beautiful and visceral.
Here’s one from The Fall of the House of Usher (Netflix) that I was so enamored by that I played it multiple times and then put it in my notes app:
The scene is of Roderick (MC) and Auguste (Gov. Official) and they’re getting ready to have a seat. Auguste has been chasing the story of the Usher family for a very long time and is finally going to get answers. They’re opening a very, very old bottle of alcohol, and Auguste doesn’t want any.
“You know, a single pour, it probably cost twice your annual salary. Have a glass. See what a few years of your worth tastes like”—Roderick Usher.
I mean… the audacity. The truth. The power.
I could go on about that line. About how I feel it encompasses a complex socioeconomic complex that has survived forever. But I won’t, because that’s not what this post is about. This post is about the fact that I want to. And this single bit of dialog, made that happen.
Let’s talk about how you can do the same.
Write nonsense
When you’re first figuring out punchy lines, the best thing you can do for yourself is to write exactly what your heart is telling you to write. Don’t think about how it’ll make sense to others, if it is correct grammar, or if your metaphors are mixed. Just write it.
Often I’ll write how something tastes or feels, or what I would compare it to, and very rarely does it ever make sense to anyone else the first go. But I have to get out how I interpret it so that I can adjust to allow other people to feel it too.
An example of this is in one of the scenes in the Poe book. The boys in my WIP are breaking a generational tradition and sacrificing their earned trust to help Eve. Their mother is allowing it because she wants them to end up heartbroken - just like their namesake.
When I started writing her parting line, it was simply just: “Family is loyal because shared blood is thicker than water and we all know that nothing should break up legacy.”
Yeeaahhh. It was terrible. But I knew the idea. I had the terrible common cliche because that was the only way I could think to describe this thing (that truthfully, I don’t agree with). I worked and finagled thinking of words that sounded more poetic but kept the sentiment I was going for. I thought about being trapped and then how the person trapping you might convince you it was good.
Here’s where I landed:
“Good. We have a deal. But, boys, a word of advice,” she shakes her head, “no, rather a plea from your mother. You may love this girl, both of you, but I beg you to remember to always, always, love each other more. You are family, and in loyalty, blood is the toughest binder. Understood?”
If you look at the non-italized part, that’s the exact phasing that I changed from the first. And it has been highlighted by many who’ve read it.
Write it as a speech or a letter first
People always laugh (either at me or uncomfortably) when I talk about my love for writing in second POV, but letters or speeches are some of the most powerful, moving, words you will ever come to know. Where do you think all those quotes get pulled from? Convincing people is the end goal. You want them to believe what you’re saying. You want them to question themselves and the world around them. You want them to be passionate about your words.
So, pretend your reader audience is standing in front of you and play out the scene in a speech to them. Practice the speech. Walk around. Talk to yourself. Throw your hands out in exclamation. Just make sure your recorder is on. 99% of what you’re going to say will be unusable. But you need to say it to rouse yourself up enough to get that one line that will punch you in the gut.
Once you have it, insert it into your scene after your setting has been built and your characters are on the precipice for this one fantastic line.
An example I have comes from an older WIP, one that I don’t talk about much because of the heartbreak of the thing. But it is a dystopian that takes place in an oppressive government. A group of workers are at lunch and there’s a fight that breaks out and one of the women jumps in to stop it before they all get in trouble. This is long, but I wrote the original as a speech and it ended up being one of the most powerful moments of the book.
"You.” She shoves her fingers into Celia’s chest, her feet unwillingly shuffling back. “You are a two-bit wench. You sell yourself to the devils' walkin' and you don't even look back. We're all whores of some sort, I sup’ose, but you are the worst of them. You sell your voice for a slice of the pie and for the idea that you're better off than me.” Her fingers are dancing and her eyes light with a fire I haven’t seen before.
“Fine. You are. Is that what you want to hear? I don't even care if you give your goods to the highest bidder. I guess what really bothers me is that when you sell your voice, you sell mine too.” She chokes a bit on the words but continues, “You give us all a little less for you to believe you get a little more. A single person who breaks from the pack weakens the whole. They see us breaking and every time your eyes gleam with greed, they know they've won.” The woman’s hand floats back to her side and she turns to look at me still sprawled on the ground.
“Deviant's reign here. Not because they're stronger. Not because they're blessed. But because they stand together in thinking we're beneath them. They blacken the sky with their boots and you scrounge just high enough to kiss their soles.”
Take cues from poetry
I know. I talk A LOT (too much I’m sure) about poetry, but it is my first love. It’s how I learned to write. And it’s how I learned to create paragraphs that build and cut right in the heart. A poem only has so many lines, so few words, to make you feel something. To really make the reader ‘buy-in’ that this, sometimes nonsensical thing, makes perfect sense for what they feel. It’s putting words to the minutiae of life in a way that makes them powerful.
Exactly what you need to do in a novel.
Read this excerpt from Thomas Lux’s Refrigerator, 1957, and tell me you don’t feel it (also, choosing a single bit from this was nearly impossible because it ALL deserves a spot):
But, just to the right of the middle
of the middle door shelf, on fire, a lit-from-within red,
heart-red, sexual-red, wet neon-red,
shining red in their liquid, exotic,
aloof, slumming
in such company: a jar
of maraschino cherries. Three-quarters
full, fiery globes, like strippers
at a church social. Maraschino cherries, “maraschino”
the only foreign word I knew.
Read the full poem, here: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/09/06/magazine19970728refrigerator-1957
And to imagine this is about something so simple, and yet it is so bowl-me-over powerful.
My advice: take a poetry class. Read a lot of poetry. Follow poetry accounts. Figure out what makes YOU feel when reading a poem, then dissect that.
Here are a few things I’ve been loving lately
Susan Dennard’s How to Write a 1-page Synopsis
Susan is one of my favorite writers to get newsletters from. She always has amazing insight and fantastic, actionable, writing advice. As I was complaining about needing to write my synopsis, a friend (Hi, Megan!) suggested revisiting this template, and man, what a lifesaver.
I knocked out my synopsis in an hour. Now, I have a first draft that I can fix and I am so happy to not be staring down a blank page for this particular task any longer!
Visit the link, here: https://susandennard.com/2010/11/24/how-to-write-a-1-page-synopsis/
Saltburn (available on Amazon Prime)
Ok. Hear me out. I know EVERYONE has been talking about this, but it’s for a good reason. It’s a very weird, what the hell is happening, skin-crawling, movie. But I couldn’t stop watching it even if I wanted to. The secondhand awkwardness I got from this movie was damn near unbearable. But it was also clever, and different, and human. In a way that’s both frightening and understandable. I would pitch this as THE GREAT GATSBY x THE CRUSH.
Spoonful of Comfort
I’ve had a bit of a tough January and since I’m surrounded by amazing people, someone sent me this care package. I couldn’t believe how nice it was. The soups, rolls, and cookies were delicious (and well-needed because I had no food in my house from missing my normal routine and grocery hauls). The blanket is already being stolen from me by my husband and dog because we all really want it. It was the perfect slice of peace that has been so fleeting the last couple of months. So, if you’re looking for something to send someone having a tough time, I would HIGHLY suggest this. They may not realize they need it, but it’ll be such a relief when they get it in the mail.
Because of my circumstances and a rough start to the year, I won’t be setting any goals until Spring. I’m thinking I might make this a *thing* and have a Spring Solstice party to encourage friends to do the same. It would be a great start to the next season AND give me a reason to put together something fun to look forward to.
If you haven’t already, I would love it if you’d subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Instagram (@samanthajonwrites).