The Precipice of Purpose
or the core of who I am as a writer
I’ve been giving speeches in my dreams again.
I don’t know if this phenomenon is universal, but whenever I’m questioning or exploring human existence and there’s a piece of the puzzle I just can’t seem to grasp, I start monologuing in my sleep.
I stand up in front of crowds. I wind my way up and down the words I know, and turn over the ones I don’t on my tongue. I list away on waves of poetry and come back to the steady lull of silence with the acceptance that I’m not sure I know the point I’m trying to make anymore.
A dream researcher once told me, this was philosophy.
A therapist told me this was anxiety.
And friends? Well, they tell me I really need to get some quality sleep because I’m getting a bit loopy.
I think they all may be right.
Still, this is the seed of my writing. The beginning of my existence. It is where the next version of me is born, in front of hundreds of imaginary people and out of pretty words infused with suffering.
Ultimately, I think this is a reinforcement of my purpose.
When I was sixteen, somehow, someone thought it was a good idea to throw me into a classroom and tell me to speak. They asked me to playact and debate. To use my confidence and my curiosity.
I was known to be a hothead, passionate in my descent into an argument, regardless of what side I was on. It didn’t matter the outcome, all I cared about was the ache of the point of view I was championing. Consumed by the truths I made about questions that were never meant to be right or wrong. And I wanted other people to feel it, too.
So, when the feelings overwhelmed my voice, and chairs or tears were pitched through my fingers, I knew that someone would sever me from the rest and tell me I was too much.
I’d heard it all before.
They never understood because they liked quiet things. Black and white things. Things that were good and things that were bad and anything else was just creating a problem.
I was always too much.
But my teacher (and coach) just laughed. Then, he would look at me seriously and say, don’t stop. make them hear you. your passion is your purpose. the only weapon you need. if you learn to focus it in your words, you’ll make everyone question what they think they know. You’ll be a force to reckon with.
And I never wanted anything as much as I wanted to be that.
It can be hard to recollect moments, but when you do, they all seem to lead to the inevitable.
We all know that words matter. That they can be twisted and taught and given to you in handfuls.
But they are not a monolith.
Action, intent, and internalization all add to their power. And as a writer, I can only control half of the whole of this—that’s my side of the bargain.
The other half is a beautiful wild landscape of world views and experiences and emotions that keep me up at night giving speeches. Because I want you there in the crowd, meandering down the human condition with me. I want you asking and doubting and questioning what the point even was. And most importantly, I need you to feel the ache of the other side. Of the questions you thought you already had answers to, because the truth is, more often than not, there’s no universal truth.
That’s why I titled my debut, The Truths We Make. That’s what life is; it’s a series of truths we’ve decided for ourselves. And they can change at any time. For any person.
That’s the gift we’ve been given.
And I believe my job as a writer isn’t to validate you. It’s to ask you to change.
As a writer, I don’t believe I’m the answer.
No. That’s your job. To figure it all out for yourself.
My job is to be the question.
To be the force of nature that makes you pull apart everything you thought you knew.
To wonder, what the point of it all is again, anyway.
Bookish updates!
I have a few updates for you all!
Firstly, The Truths We Make is back on KU until July! While I’m getting VIP Plus One ready to be published, it is able to be back on KU for another 90 days. Please shout about this with your friends!
Also, if you missed it, my next novel VIP Plus One has a cover.
I would LOVE if you could go show the post some extra care over on my IG. It is also available for pre-order on Amazon and on my website.
Also if you are interested in BETA reading for VIP Plus One, now is your chance! Sign up here.
The Lies We Keep is getting ready to resume drafting at the end of April. I cannot wait to give you all more insights into the Poe Boys.
Events
Come see me at the Emerald City Romance Author Reader Event on June 14, 2025! I’ll have books and swag and who knows what goodies [Sam and I are very crafty].
Buy tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/emerald-city-romance-author-and-reader-2025-tickets-tickets-1061031787639
Writer’s Corner
For all my writers:
I am hosting The Voice of Poetry workshop again! My last class went so well, I wanted to do it again. Many of the participants sent me screenshots or updated me letting me know they’ve already put my techniques into practice.
If you’re looking for help finding your voice in your novel, come join me!
Sign up: https://www.samanthajon.com/event-list